Posted January 24, 2006
Fr. Joe
A Case Study
Lynn M. Levo, CSJ, Ph.D., is Director of Education
and Editor of Lukenotes
at Saint Luke Institute
Case Study: Fr. Joe
Fr. Joe and Sr. Mary are friends. They met each other 15 years ago when they
both were assigned to the same parish. Over the years, they have maintained
their friendship by phone contact, spending a day off together periodically
and by attending significant events in one another's lives. In the last
several months, Fr. Joe has cancelled 3 gatherings, stating that "I am just
too busy with the plans for the new church." Unlike in the past, he is not
initiating phone contact and was quite irritable when Sr. Mary called to see
how he was doing. Reluctantly, he did share that he had a "bum knee" and
then quickly moved on to say "I am fine." Recently, when they met at a
social event, she noticed that uncharacteristically, he was drinking rather
heavily. When she asked him about his drinking, he was overtly hostile and
walked away. Several days later, Fr. Joe called Sr. Mary to apologize and
they agreed to meet for lunch to "catch up" with one another.
When they got together, Fr. Joe was berating himself for his past behavior
even though Sr. Mary had accepted his earlier apology. He was unusually
quiet, unable to talk openly as in the past, and seemed quite depleted.
Realizing that Fr. Joe was not himself, she decided to share her
observations with him. Having experienced some depression herself in the
past year, Sr. Mary wondered if Fr. Joe might be depressed. When she asked
if he felt depressed, Fr. Joe was surprised and with some unexpected tears
in his eyes he said "men don't get depressed, women do." Fr. Joe was able to
hear her concern, agreed that something was not quite right, and then said
very little else.
Depression and Gender
The data is clear that a large number of women do experience depression, are
more likely to speak about being depressed and to be diagnosed as
experiencing depression. Current research suggests that many men also
experience depression, challenging the past belief that women are twice as
likely as men to experience depression. This popular notion that women are
more depressed than men is most likely related to the fact that men who are
depressed are less likely to seek out mental health professionals for help
and men are not likely to show what have become known as typical depressive
symptoms: crying, sadness, withdrawal, and sleeping too much to name a few.
What is becoming more apparent is that depression is a salient, although
often hidden, problem for many men, with the toll from untreated depression
being both physical as well as mental. A recent Johns Hopkins study found
that depressed men were twice as likely as non-depressed men to develop
heart disease or die suddenly because of heart problems. And, the Center for
Disease Control (CDC) found that men in the U.S. are about four times more
likely than women to commit suicide.
Men and Help Seeking
Why is it that men are less likely than women to seek help for both physical
and mental health problems? Part of the answer seems to lie in who men think
they should be: self-reliant, strong, logical, rational and not emotionally
needy. The dominant image of masculinity today seems to encourage men to be
emotionally stoic and physically tough. Given that many men believe that
expressing feelings and being vulnerable are what women do, it is not
surprising that men neither acknowledge their depression nor are they
willing to seek help for it. In addition, the data suggests that a man is
least likely to seek help for a problem that he sees as unusual; i.e., other
men do not seek help for this kind of problem. When fear that others will
think poorly of him or will put him down is also at play, asking for help is
even less likely.
Male Depressive Symptoms
The symptoms of male depression can be different than the classic symptoms
we usually associate with depression. Fr. Joe is exhibiting a mix of both
some classic symptoms and some typically male symptoms. Although Fr. Joe is
not expressing classic feelings of sadness or emptiness, he is experiencing
some excessive guilt as he continues to berate himself about his encounter
with Sr. Mary. Lack of energy, usually associated with depression, is also
quite evident.
It is clear, however, that without an awareness of the symptoms of
depression that men exhibit, Fr. Joe may not be seen as depressed either by
himself or others. Withdrawing from relationships, overworking and sleeping
less are some signs that a man may be depressed. Although he did not share
this with Sr. Mary, Fr. Joe is blaming himself about the difficulties with
the new church. Men are more likely to be at risk for depression when they
feel they are not measuring up and making things happen as they should. In
addition, Fr. Joe's increased irritability, hostility and even the creating
of some conflict with Sr. Mary, are more likely to occur when a man is
depressed. It is also true that men are more likely to increase their use of
alcohol or other drugs as well as to spend more time watching TV as means of
self-medicating or numbing their feelings. Some men also use sex or cybersex
to medicate their dysphoria. While Fr. Joe tries to dismiss that he is
struggling with his bum knee, his physical difficulty may be adding to his
depression. For many men, illness or feeling physically weaker, can be
direct attacks on their sense of virility, strength and self-definition and
may trigger depression.
It is well documented that approximately eighty percent of people who seek
help for depression will get relief from antidepressant medication, therapy
or a combination of both, the usual treatment regimen. Unfortunately, for
many men, therapy, like depression is often seen as feminine. In addition,
they often have little experience verbalizing feelings and few male role
models for how to talk about feelings and their problems. The stigma
associated with male depression and asking for help must be removed so that
men will seek help and receive the available effective treatment for
depression that they need.
Lynn M. Levo, CSJ, Ph.D., is Director of Education and Editor of Lukenotes
at Saint Luke Institute
LUKENOTES is a bimonthly publication of Saint Luke Institute. Telephone
(301) 422-5579 Fax (301) 422-5400 lukenotes@sli.org
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